Best 100+ Funny Golf Quotes Of All The Time

Originally invented in Scotland in the fourteenth century, golf is an outdoor pastime. Even if they are experiencing troubles with their game, a big part of our duties is to make sure that our players are funny golf quotes. If you play sports with pals, the same rule applies.

A pleasant afternoon expended playing golf with your best pals is a revitalizing experience. If a new man has taken up the sport of golf, sharing some funny golf might start the conversation. The United States, especially among Presidents, is just where golf is most popular, but Ireland and Scotland are closely followed. A golfer may always gain the upper hand by practicing their understanding of funny golf lingo. A hole-in-one is only a small component of what golf is all about. It teaches patience, concentration, problem-solving, honesty, and how to go with the flow.

so here we have a great collection of lots of interesting funny golf quotes for everyone to enjoy! and share it If you liked it and suggest to us if you have any idea about funny quotes.

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Funny Golf Quotes

Funny Golf Quotes

Golf is like solitaire. When you cheat, you cheat only yourself.

Ours is a youth culture, and like a golf tournament, we honor only low scores.‒ Bill Cosby.

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.

Golf is a game that mirrors life. Golf is both a mystical journey of joy and sorrow and a physical journey of cause and effect.

A golf course is the epitome of all that is purely transitory in the universe; a space not to dwell in, but to get over as quickly as possible.

Don’t force your kids into sports. I never was. To this day, my dad has never asked me to go play golf. I ask him.‒ Tiger Woods.

Golf without Jones would be like France without Paris: leaderless, lightless, and lonely.

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May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.‒ Ben Hogan.

If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.‒ Jack Lemmon.

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.‒ Winston S. Churchill.

Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.‒ Harry Vardon.

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. I’ve played the game for 40 years and I still haven’t the slightest idea how to play it.‒ Gary Player.

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.‒ Henny Youngman.

The main idea in golf as in life, I suppose is to learn to accept what cannot be altered…‒ Bobby Jones.

It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. It took one afternoon on the golf course.‒ Hank Aaron.

A major golf tournament is 40,000 sadists watching 144 masochists.‒ Thomas Boswell.

If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.‒ Bob Hope.

Funny Golf Quote For The Clubhouse

Funny Golf Quote For The Clubhouse

The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest golf cart never has to play the bad lie.‒ Mickey Mantle.

You don’t know what pressure is until you play for five bucks with only two bucks in your pocket.‒ Lee Trevino.

The most important golf shot is the next one.‒ Ben Hogan.

They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken.‒ Raymond Floyd.

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.‒ Gerald Ford.

As you walk down the fairway of life, you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.‒ Ben Hogan.

But in the end, it’s still a game of golf, and if at the end of the day you can’t shake hands with your opponents and still be friends, then you’ve missed the point.‒ Payne Stewart.

If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even put it.‒ Dean Martin.

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Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.‒ Jim Murray.

Golf is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.‒ P.G. Wodehouse.

Golf has probably kept more people sane than psychiatrists have.‒ Harvey Penick.

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one – particularly if he plays golf, which he usually does.‒ Bertrand Russell.

Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club, don’t you?‒ Ben Hogan.

Give me golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.‒ Jack Benny.

If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they’d starve to death.‒ Sam Snead.

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.

The only way of really finding out a man’s true character is to play golf with him. In no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.‒ P. G. Wodehouse.

There is no such thing as natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls.‒ Lee Trevino.

I’ve seen lifelong friends drift apart over golf just because one could play better, but the other counted better.

Quotes About Golf From Famous People

Quotes About Golf From Famous People

We learn so many things from golf: how to suffer, for instance.‒ Bruce Lansky.

Like one’s own children, golf has an uncanny way of endearing itself to us while at the same time evoking every weakness of mind and character, no matter how well hidden.‒ Timothy Gallwey.

I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk, and a moose.‒ Gerald R. Ford.

In Hollywood, we have some of the richest unemployed people in the world. They have sun tans. Some of them have chauffeurs in Rolls-Royces waiting outside. They have their golf clubs ready in the car. No law says you cannot play golf while unemployed.

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.

The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.‒ Pete Dye.

I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.‒ Lee Trevino.

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf – it’s almost a law.‒ H. G. Wells.

You build a golf game like you build a wall, one brick at a time.‒ Tony Lema.

I’d play every day if I could. It’s cheaper than a shrink and there are no telephones on my golf cart.‒ Brent Musburger.

Golf tips are like aspirin. One may do you good, but if you swallow the whole bottle you will be lucky to survive.

Golf has become so manicured, so perfect. The greens, the fairways. I don’t like golf carts. I like walking. Some clubs won’t let you in unless you have a caddy and a cart.‒ Robert Redford.

Best Hilarious Quotes About Golf

Best Hilarious Quotes About Golf

It’s alive, this swing, a living sculpture! And down through contact, always down, striking the ball crisply, with character. A tuning fork goes off in your heart and your balls.

Instead of saving for someone else’s college education, I’m currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch.‒ Jen Kirkman.

As all souls are equal before their Maker, a two-inch putt counts the same as a 250-yard drive. There is a comedy in this and a certain unfairness even, which makes golf an even apter mirror of reality.

The reason a pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.‒ Phyllis Diller.

I bought my first electric car in 1970. Its top speed was 15 mph and it had just a 15-mile range – it was essentially a golf cart with a windshield wiper and a horn.‒ Ed Begley. Jr.

Golf is a worrier’s game, inward, concentrated, a matter of inches, invented by the same people who gave us Presbyterianism.

Golf: A plague invented by the Calvinistic Scots as a punishment for man’s sins.‒ James Barrett Reston.

And the wind shall say: ‘Here were decent godless people: Their only monument the asphalt road and a thousand lost golf balls.’‒ T. S. Eliot.

Forget your opponents; always play against par.‒ Sam Snead.

Golf sits in that beautiful junction between perfection and frustration.

The great thing about starting golf in your forties is that you can start golf in your forties.‒ P. J. O’Rourke.

You have the opposite of poker face. You have like miniature golf face.‒ Elizabeth Gilbert.

Golf asks something of a man. It makes one loathe mediocrity. It seems to say, If you are going to keep company with me, don’t embarrass me.‒ a Gary Player.

You know what the game of golf is, don’t you? It’s basketball for people who can’t jump and chess for people who can’t think.‒ Tom Robins.

I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.‒ Ben Hogan.

Funny golf Quote for Instagram

Funny golf Quote for Instagram

Golf was not our sport but was an gorgeous day to give a swing at it.

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.

Early to bed, early to rise, golf all day & makeup lies.

It’s a funny thing – the more I practice, the luckier I get.

I’m Not Over The Hill, I’m On The Back Nine.

Working on my swing this weekend. How about you?

I usually golf in the mid-’70s… Any colder and I just stay home.

Golf is a great way to quickly become disappointed in yourself.

Remember that no matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

Floating near the Persian Golf

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Whoever said Practice makes perfect never played golf.

I never found golf interesting, but then I learned that’s just where men go to let go of their anger.

Playing mini golf and practicing for the big leagues.

Ready to get bad breaks from good shots.

With that beautiful smile, out on the course.

If I hit it right, it’s a slice. If I hit it left, it’s a hook. And If I hit it straight, it’s a miracle.

Many golfers prefer a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh.

In Golf, As In Life, It’s The Follow-Through That Makes The Difference

The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.

Whoever said Practice makes perfect never played golf.

You have to work a little, to (golf) ball a lot.

Happiness is a long walk with a putter.

Does this perfect swing go with my outfit?

Golf is an all-around sport, if you want to be all-around, you gotta train all-around.

Even a bad day of golf is better than a good day in the office

Smile at the obstacle, for it is a bridge

Funny golf jokes

Funny golf jokes

To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly.

I shot one under at golf today. One under a tree, one under a bush, and one under the water.

I play in the low 80’s. If it’s any hotter than that, I won’t play.

Two guys were playing golf one day when one of them noticed a funeral procession going by on the road next to the course.

He stopped in mid-swing, closed his eyes, and said a short prayer.

This pastor decided to skip church one Sunday morning and go play golf.

He told his assistant that he wasn’t feeling well then he drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.

A golfer standing at a tee overlooking a river sees a couple of fishermen and says to his partner, Look at those two idiots fishing in the rain.

If you golf on election day, make sure to cast an absent-tee-ballot.

Golf is a lot like taxes… you go for the green and come out in the hole.

The man who takes up golf to get his mind off his work soon takes up work to get his mind off golf.

I once played a course that was so tough, that I lost two balls in the ball washer!

The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight, and not too often.

An amateur golfer addresses the ball twice … once before swinging, and once again, after swinging.

Many golfers prefer a golf cart to a caddy because they cannot count, criticize, or laugh.

Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.

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